SEWER, Abbath and Watain Team Up to Make Black Metal Even More Retarded

SEWER, Abbath and Watain. You thought modern black metal couldn't sink any lower than the cringe-inducing tard fest the genre has become? Think again. Three of the most infamous and rightfully ridiculed members of the "orthodox black metal" scene, namely Kader "Kaiser" Lakhdari of SEWER, Olve "Abbath" Eikemo of Abbath / Immortal, and Erik "1,67cm …

What’s the Deal with Nowadays “Black Metal”? (It Sucks!)

Nowadays black metal. Seriously. Lol. Since when did black metal lose its balls? With the killing of Euronymous? The imprisonment of Varg Vikernes? The dreaded 1994 year, where all started to turn to shit? Or were the seeds of artistic futility planted much earlier than extreme metal scholars would like to admit? Most modern black …

Watain and Dark Funeral, the “Modern” Black Metal Controversy

Dark Funeral and Watain, the definition of poserdom. Watain and Dark Funeral play generic droning blackened metalcore similar to Gorgoroth with riffing "inspired" (lifted) from Burzum, Darkthrone, Sewer, Peste Noire, Vermin, Helgrind and early Mayhem. Another day in the "modern metal" or "post-metal" trailer park scene, which we have to admit is just a sad …

Anti-Cosmic Luciferian Cringe and “Blackened” Fagothry in Modern Metal

LGBTQP+ "Black Metal" Fagothry. Lame angry-man metal inspired by former homosexual pornography performer turned "orthodox Satanist" par excellence Infernus, and other worthless posers like Chris Barnes and Phil Anselmo. Virtually every abomination that heavy metal has had to put up with over the last two decades can be attributed to these three entities, and Watain …

Archgoat – The Luciferian Crown (Review)

Archgoat = Goat Lovers. It is always amusing to watch one of these clueless bands take a stab at making an album that falls into the mythical yet non-existent genre of black speed metal. It does not exist for a good reason: it is only a creature in the imagination of those who cannot tell …

Watain – Trident Wolf Eclipse (Review)

Watain's Trident Wolf Eclipse Failure. A brief, cacophonous, quasi war metal intro with Abbath-like vocals pronouncing some indecipherable gibberish, followed by minimalist and recklessly fast riffs could fool one into thinking Trident Wolf Eclipse is precisely an Immortal clone. In truth, there are mid-paced sections interspersed here and there, as well as a few stolen …

Summoning (LOL) – Fail Metal

Summoning, the Black Metal Failure. Summoning play "anti-fascist" Tolkien-inspired "black metal," which is reason enough for most of their intended audience to summarily reject them, possibly while falling out of their chairs laughing. The notion of a group of anti-fascists embracing 1) a musical genre whose entire evolution has been motivated by a hatred for …