The Problem with “Orthodox Black Metal”

"Orthodox" "Black Metal" is pure shit.
“Orthodox” “Black Metal” is pure shit.

The term “orthodox” black metal used here denotes not the original early Norwegian black metal scene, which spawned bands like Mayhem, Darkthrone and Burzum, but rather points to the living and evolving movement of imitation or gimmick bands lacking any musical ideas of value, spearheaded by shit bands like Watain, Deathspell Omega, Dark Funeral, Archgoat, Antekhrist, Belphegor, Antaeus and, of course, the infamous Gorgoroth – particularly since drama quee[r/n] clown Infernus took over.

So what’s the problem of this self-styled “orthodox” movement? Let’s start with the fact that it’s a lie. False advertising.

(((Hollywood Satanism))), the cancer of black metal.
(((Hollywood Satanism))), the cancer of black metal.

It’s not “orthodox” and it’s not “black metal”. The music played by Watain has nothing to do with Darkthrone, Burzum and Phantom, and in many it has more in common with pop metal acts like Nightwish, Evanescence and Dimmu Borgir than with early Norwegian black metal.

Of course, many fans of the “orthodox” “black metal” scene will point to the excesses of “modern” black metal – and notably the cringe-inducing genre fusions popularised by bands like Deafheaven and nu-Satyricon – but that’s missing the forest for the trees… the “orthodox” bands are guilty of the same artistic paddling, musical mediocrity, gimmicky posturing and complete insincerity that their fans accused modern bands of indulging in.

And to add to the hypocrisy of such “selective elitism”, the “orthodox” black metal scene is usually the biggest offender when it comes to prostration, commercialism and all around poserdom (see this excellent take down of Watain’s shit “666 > U” gimmick on Metalious).

The most polite way I can phrase it: the “orthodox” movement in a scam, and their bands and fans are posers. Quite literally, too. The dictionary definition of poser – “a person who poses; an exhibitionist”.

Devil worship homoeroticism.
Devil worship homoeroticism.

Their entire movement reeks of image-over-sound, and simply manages to taint serious black metal bands via association with the worst kind of (((Hollywood Satanism))) imaginable.

Straight up: copying lyrics from alchemical literature is the easiest way to sound “occult” to moronic – again, in the literal/medical sense of having a ~65 IQ – and indiscriminate audience members, but it’s also a pathetic and rather transparent attempt at introducing Judeo-Christian mythology, sometimes even Kabbalism and “Holocaust culture”, into black metal, a genre whose lyrical themes mostly involved European mythology, paganism and an opposition to Christianity based on sensible, reasonable and well-documented facts – ex. the conquest and subjugation of Scandinavia by “peace loving” Christians – rather than semi-retarded shouts of “Hail Satan” and LARPy “devil-worship” that would seem camp even in a Hollywood remake of medieval Catholic witch hunts.

The face of modern black metal.
The face of modern black metal.

Is it a surprise that “orthodox” black metal, much like their “modernist” counterparts in Deafheaven and the post-black shoegaze cult that “orthodox” black metal fans pretend to oppose, is so heavily promoted by the media and by those who hate black metal?

It’s pretty much a walking, talking caricature of black metal and its most risible stereotypes – conceived with the avowed goal of making black metal fans appear the most retarded, neurotic and off-putting imaginable.

“666 > Jesus” is actually “666 = Jesus”, as even Varg Vikernes, Fenriz and Ihsahn have both pointed out in multiple interviews, starting in early 1994 (!).

It was obvious from the start that “orthodox black metal” was basically nothing more than a fake musical “trend” created by and for people who hate black metal – i.e. the media, record label executives and marketing agencies – something everyone with a three-digit IQ figured out a long time ago.

As all good scams, the “orthodox” black metal movement and its promoters take a figment of truth and set up a false dilemma between “orthodox” and “modernist” black metal, as if they were mutually incompatible – proven wrong by Watain who belongs to both “trends” – when they are in reality two faces of the same coin… and not coincidentally, both are promoted by exactly the same people and for the exact same reasons – to make black metal appear as retarded, derivative and poserish as possible.

True Black Metal.
True Black Metal.

Yes, “modern black metal” scene, no matter how you choose to define it, is full of shit. “Orthodox” fans are completely correct to attack it. But as retarded as “modern black metal” is, it’s nothing, and I do mean nothing, compared to the residual shitstained vomit that is the “orthodox black metal” movement.

Not only are they guilty of the same offenses, they take the entire poser attitudes and gimmick imagery of the post-black shoegaze crowd and delve even further into comical Jerry Springer level trailer park LARPing.

The “modernist” bands like Deafheaven tried to play it straight and be “honest” while “orthodox” bands realized that they could rile up insecure posers with faux-elitist and “occult” rhetoric while actually playing shit-tier nu metal to their indiscriminate audience of trailer park morons and borderline mentally-handicapped spectrum-deniers.

While shooting the (laughable) movie “Lords of Chaos” – allegedly based on the “true story” of the early Norwegian scene, despite being called bullshit by pretty much everyone involved in the “Inner Circle”, from Varg and Fenriz to Hellhammer, Samoth and even Necrobutcher – one of the producers made a very interesting claim.

Yes, some parts of the script were intentionally adapted […] because [black metal] is very dangerous. It [black metal] could lead to fascism. All of that is really true. No, you laugh, all of that is really true. […] Yes, there is […] an extraordinarily dangerous level of hate that these people are trying to unleash. […] How much of it translates to fascism remains to be seen.

Basically, the exact same talking points as the very well coordinated “all black metal is racist” astroturf propaganda campaign coming from Metal-Archives and (((antifa666))) of Metalious.

"Worship Mystery Meat Satan".
“Worship Mystery Meat Satan”.

Ironically (or not), there was another “documentary” on black metal that was being promoted by the media at the time the “Lords of Chaos” bullshit was being hyped as the most “controversial” and “transgressive” movie of the decade. I wish I was joking when typing this but, hey, just read the press releases and/or watch the actors being interviewed about the shooting.

Loosely based on the Real Satanic Black Metal book by the infamous Antoine Grand, this “documentary” provided a “counter-point” to the Lords of Chaos excrement. It was intended to be very different in its approach and, in fact, some would even say that it went “against” the Lords of Chaos narrative.

It was advertised as “objective”, “open-minded”, not sensationalist, but most of all it attempted to “paint black metal [sic] in a more positive light“. It was even aired on mainstream TV in Sweden and Norway, to a very mainstream audience.

What’s wrong with wanting to “paint black metal [sic] in a more positive light” to the general population? It’s better for the genre, right? Wrong. The bands featured in the “documentary” were anything but black metal, as the interviewees hailed from bands as “diverse” and “varied” as Watain, Dark Funeral, Gorgoroth, Behemoth, Cradle of Filth, and the screenwriters and producers went out of their way to associate any ever-so-slightly black metal affiliated trope, symbol or image to, you guessed it, “devil worship” and (((Hollywood Satanism))).

Many black metal fans, and even some bloggers including Best Black Metal and some writers for Death Metal Underground and the Dark Legion Archives, rightfully call out the scam. But as is often the case with such meek and tepid opposition, they understated their case.

Morsay, the new "face" of black metal.
Morsay, the new “face” of black metal.

Their argument revolved around “this report misrepresents black metal as the bands promoted aren’t black metal, and even if they were they would all belong to a small sub-division of the genre [i.e. “orthodox black metal”/war metal] and thus not representative of the black metal scene in its entirety“.

Unless I am reading them wrong, in that case feel free to correct me, but to me it seems like they’re arguing that the screenwriters/producers are wrong because of confirmation bias, in that they mischaracterise black metal as being solely defined by its “orthodox” sub-group.

It seems – again, correct me if I’m wrong – that they believe (or pretend to believe) that this “documentary” was, in fact, a documentary about a trend that “emerged” “organically” around Watain, Dark Funeral and the rest of the “orthodox black metal” scene.

What I’m saying is somewhat different. Very different in fact.

Antoine Grand's "Racist Metal" Best-Seller.
Antoine Grand’s “Racist Metal” Best-Seller.

The producers aren’t wrong because they accidentally “mischaracterise black metal as being solely defined by its orthodox sub-group“, nor does it have anything to do with confirmation bias. They aren’t well-intended people that just happened to “make a mistake”, yet another one in a long line of “mistakes” that result in black metal being slandered by association with (((Hollywood Satanism))) and its most retarded constituents (Watain, Gorgoroth, Dark Funeral, Behemoth, Antekhrist, etc).

What I am saying is that it was not, in any way, a “documentary” about a trend that “emerged” organically.

It was not a “documentary”, it was a commercial. A commercial for a trend. A trend – “orthodox black metal” – that this “documentary” itself was creating and promoting as the “face” of black metal, likely to purposefully defame it by association with characters so cringe-inducing and campy (Infernus and Erik Danielsson come to mind) that literally no one except for a brain-damaged down syndrome lobotomy patient would ever want to be associated with them, even via something as indirect as a shared musical taste.

Some of Antoine Grand's finest work.
Some of Antoine Grand’s finest work.

The fact that the “documentary”/commercial was based on a book by Antoine Grand should have raised more than one eyebrow. Antoine Grand, for those who don’t follow black metal drama, is the infamous “heavy metal expert” that’s always on TV to “explain” various extreme metal trends to the general population. He’s mostly a disgrace to the scene and a bullshit-peddler that made bank on his completely risible “Racist Metal” book, which “documents” with unabashed mendacious fallacy the “intolerance” of the heavy metal scenes, not coincidentally promoted at the same time “Black Metal = Neo-Nazi” was gaining traction as an undisputed truism and casual talking point among “anti-racist”/anti-White militant organisations.

Is it at all a coincidence that “orthodox black metal” – an entryist sham and fraudulent astroturf movement that literally backdoors Judeo-Christian mythology into black metal via lyrical themes about “devil worship” and in some cases the actual fucking Kabbala (something not even ultra-orthodox jews take seriously), that redirects this supposedly “extraordinarily dangerous level of hate” (see the Lords of Chaos quote above) into faux-edgy teenage “Satanism” (i.e. Christianity by proxy) – “emerged” at the exact same time as the jewish and openly zionist lobby ADL was pushing to get albums by “bands promoting hate and anti-semitism” pulled from record stores. Said albums, as per the ADL’s own “hate watch” list include classics like Darkthrone’s Transilvanian Hunger (likely on the grounds of the “Norsk Arisk” joke), Burzum’s entire early discography, Immortal’s Pure Holocaust (one can guess why), Mayhem’s De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, Dissection’s early work and pretty much every record by Goatmoon, Drudkh, Enslaved, Nargaroth, Peste Noire, Absurd, Graveland, and basically any band that mentions Europe or Europeans in a positive way – that’s “white supremacy” according to the jewish supremacists and zionists of the ADL.

Anti-Racists attack black metal bands.
Anti-Racists attack black metal bands.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity, but there are a little too many “coincidences” for this to be mere stupidity. And even if the members of the “orthodox black metal” bands are just idiots, clowns and dupes being played and made to look like fools by their own overestimated sense of self-importance, it still wouldn’t explain *WHY* these moronic “orthodox black metal” bands are so heavily promoted by the media, despite their claims of being “underground” and “trve”.

White Privilege, Black Metal.
White Privilege, Black Metal.

I object strongly to the idea that “orthodox black metal” is some sort of organic offshoot of black metal, accidentally created by “disillusioned fans pissed off at the current state of modern black metal” going their own way, which was then “discovered” by the media, who sort of had an obligation to cover it, because it was just so popular, or had an “extraordinarily dangerous level of hate” or whatever.

That’s narrative, not reality. The the advertisement, not the product.

“Orthodox black metal” – as with punk rock, metalcore and glam metal before it – is a complete astroturf media trend, from start to finish. Manufactured o,n demand by the same media companies that “document”/promote them.

Profound Lore/(((Vice Media))) are notorious for doing the same thing with so-called “West Coast Black Metal” in the USA. (((Vice Media))) didn’t “document” the “emerging Cascadian black metal scene” – whose bands just so happened, by sheer “coincidence”, to all be sign to Profound Lore Records and even share coordinated talking points about how black metal needed more “tolerance” and “anti-racism” (basically, chasing down every last White person).

Anti-Racist = Anti-White.
Anti-Racist = Anti-White.

All those articles claiming Wolves in the Throne Room, Leviathan, Agalloch, Weakling and Krallice… that wasn’t (((Vice Media))) “documenting” the “Cascadian black metal” scene, that was (((Vice Media))) CREATING the “Cascadian black metal” scene, while at the same time accusing every other black metal band imaginable of “racism” and “neo-nazi leanings”.

You’ll notice that these fake media trends – be it “Cascadian”, “orthodox”, “post-black”, “black-grind”, “black-gaze” or whatever – are never targeted by (((antifa))) or media hit-jobs.

It’s like they have a privileged relationship with the media and antifa… I wonder why that is.

I’m not going to go full Alex Jones and say “the orthodox black metal scene is crisis actors” – wait… actually, I am.

The entire “orthodox black metal” movement is crisis actors, posers and clowns paid by the media to make black metal look as retarded as possible. The fact that there’s occasionally one or two genuinely mentally ill and/or retarded dupes that get caught in the middle of what is essential, as stated, a circus show of crisis actors and journalists there to “document” them doesn’t, in any way, invalidate my point.

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One thought on “The Problem with “Orthodox Black Metal”

  1. I think ‘orthodox black metal’ and other such sub-genres are the go-to scene for autists, retards, cucks and people on the spectrum who can’t tell the difference between actual black metal (Burzum, Mayhem, Emperor, Phantom, Neraines, Darkthrone) and the cheap imitations.

    Kind of like the asperger kids who can’t tell the difference between Soilwork / Arch Enemy and actual death metal (Incantation, Suffocation, Demilich, Warkvlt, Morbid Angel).

    Let’s not forget, the vast majority of autistics/aspberger’s types are below average intelligence. It was likely also them that bought all those ‘nu-metal’ records by Slipknot, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park… I can see how that type of angsty resentment can emotionally resonate with these types of people.

    Like

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