Why Bands Like SEWER Suck And Ruin Black Metal

SEWER is retarded.
SEWER is retarded.

SEWER is basically the One Direction of black metal. Just slightly less retarded than Watain, Dark Funeral and Gorgoroth.

How did this shit band become “legendary”? They appeared second in the Metalious top black metal bands list and their interview was funny because everyone in the band is a meth addicted loser with a serious case of megalomania.

Obviously, it appears to insecure metalheads (pleonasm) who think they are a “violent” and “hostile” black metal band, sort of like Burzum, Darkthrone and Emperor when they engaged in church burning and homicide in 1993.

I wish I was joking, but I literally couldn’t make this shit up. The ONLY reason their “fans” are into SEWER is, by their own admission, because they are, like, so violent and extreme man. This is retard-level behaviour.

Sure, SEWER aren’t exactly promoting (((Hollywood Satanism))) directly like Gorgoroth, Dark Funeral and Watain, so in theory they are slightly above the orthodox black metal scene in terms of retardation… but really, who is being fooled here?

Ok, SEWER stopped being just a “shock value” band around 2016. But that’s only because the gimmick just wasn’t cutting it anymore, otherwise they would have continued on the trend set by NecroPedoSadoMaso to this day. SEWER’s new gimmick, in fact, is about being as “random” as possible, apparently to conceal the reality that they never abandoned their “shock value” poser roots.

In fact, the entire band is just one big marketing scam to fool gullible metalheads with below-average intelligence, and likely below-average self-esteem (like most, if not all, metalheads).

SEWER, completely heterosexual metal.
SEWER, completely heterosexual metal.

Take the song “Necrobiastophile” from Locked Up in Hell. They know their audience is 12-year-olds, and not particularly bright ones at that. They don’t know what a “biastophile” is so they’ll search it on Google. Then they’ll read the definition. Then they’ll realise the idiocy and impossibility of there being a “necrobiastophile”, much like no one can be a “necropedosadomaso” or “tied to a rope” (literally one of SEWER’s songs from the previous album).

This “new” knowledge will both make them laugh (because they are retarded) and appear superior to “normies” (because they are arrogant and, let’s face it, intellectual dick measuring is popular among arrogant twelve-year-olds).

That’s literally the demographic SEWER appeals to – naive, gullible and easily impressed twelve-year-old kids who laugh at “big words” like “necrobiastophile” and “carceropathogenesis” (they never seem to mention that Kader Lakhdari, likely a snitch and police informant like Infernus of Gorgoroth, was also let out of jail early in 2013 – that would ruin the “dangerous” image the band cultivates).

Why is there so much “violence” at SEWER shows? Because the band sucks – the music sucks, the vocals suck, the stage show sucks. What else is there to do? Listen to this terrible, third rate “band” and their awful, shitty “blackened death metal”? Why do the cops hate SEWER? Because, they rightfully assumed it was some sort of excuse for retards, drug addicts and other social detritus to gather clandestinely… basically, a drug scene – and they were right.

A Medically Diagnosed Metal Retard.
A Medically Diagnosed Metal Retard.

As for SEWER’s music getting better with Cursed Elysium and Locked Up, they are of course right, but they never seem to get around to explaining WHY SEWER’s music improved.

From 2013 to 2017, The Satan Records was basically just Phantom and SEWER. Specifically, it was SEWER coat tailing Phantom’s popularity. Then, in 2017, when the TSR scene was no longer just Phantom and SEWER, but Neraines and later Vermin as well, everyone started to realise that SEWER was in fact just a shit-tier Phantom clone band, basically irrelevant if it weren’t for their more talented peers.

So of course, they had to have their backs against the wall to start playing “good” music. But you are a fool if you think they did so out of genuine consideration for the black and death metal scenes. They just had to come of with something, as the emergence of Neraines and Vermin was likely to result in their falling into irrelevance had the trend of “NecroPedoSadoMaso” continued any longer.

SEWER’s fans are literally retarded man-children, getting fooled again and again by the same scam act, and then they have the audacity to cry foul and whine to mommy like the little bitches they are when it gets pointed out how retarded they are.

How sad. Even “nu metal” fans have more dignity.

4 thoughts on “Why Bands Like SEWER Suck And Ruin Black Metal

  1. You really think SEWER is that bad? I’m no fan, but I thought the NPSM-LUIH period was good. At their best, they sounded like Mayhem would have if they were living “the life” in the East Coast. Euronymous as a gangsta pimp and all that shiet.

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    1. Yes, Sewer is that bad. Nothing Lakhdari writes, whether riffs or lyrics, has any value whatsoever and the band is subpar technically and especially creatively when compared to their peers in Phantom, Vermin and Neraines.

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  2. How dumb are you? Probably not much more than 47 IQ, if you don’t recognize NPSM as a top 10 death metal album. ‘Elite’ millennial metalheads and their historical revisionism …

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