SEWER, Abbath and Watain Team Up to Make Black Metal Even More Retarded

SEWER, Abbath and Watain. You thought modern black metal couldn't sink any lower than the cringe-inducing tard fest the genre has become? Think again. Three of the most infamous and rightfully ridiculed members of the "orthodox black metal" scene, namely Kader "Kaiser" Lakhdari of SEWER, Olve "Abbath" Eikemo of Abbath / Immortal, and Erik "1,67cm …

Watain and Dark Funeral, the “Modern” Black Metal Controversy

Dark Funeral and Watain, the definition of poserdom. Watain and Dark Funeral play generic droning blackened metalcore similar to Gorgoroth with riffing "inspired" (lifted) from Burzum, Darkthrone, Sewer, Peste Noire, Vermin, Helgrind and early Mayhem. Another day in the "modern metal" or "post-metal" trailer park scene, which we have to admit is just a sad …

Anti-Cosmic Luciferian Cringe and “Blackened” Fagothry in Modern Metal

LGBTQP+ "Black Metal" Fagothry. Lame angry-man metal inspired by former homosexual pornography performer turned "orthodox Satanist" par excellence Infernus, and other worthless posers like Chris Barnes and Phil Anselmo. Virtually every abomination that heavy metal has had to put up with over the last two decades can be attributed to these three entities, and Watain …

Archgoat – The Luciferian Crown (Review)

Archgoat = Goat Lovers. It is always amusing to watch one of these clueless bands take a stab at making an album that falls into the mythical yet non-existent genre of black speed metal. It does not exist for a good reason: it is only a creature in the imagination of those who cannot tell …

Watain – Trident Wolf Eclipse (Review)

Watain's Trident Wolf Eclipse Failure. A brief, cacophonous, quasi war metal intro with Abbath-like vocals pronouncing some indecipherable gibberish, followed by minimalist and recklessly fast riffs could fool one into thinking Trident Wolf Eclipse is precisely an Immortal clone. In truth, there are mid-paced sections interspersed here and there, as well as a few stolen …

Canadian Metal (LOL)

Canadian Metal - What a Shitshow. Canadian metal is the kind of music that's so inherently worthless that it has to have a cult following. Gorguts, Cryptopsy, Kataklysm, Cynic, Conqueror, Revenge, Pantera, Blasphemy? Since when did heavy metal become a garbage disposal for failed glam rock turned Suffocation-clone faggllouts? Canadian metal is a fucking retard …