What Black Metal (Actually) Means And Why I Started Blogging…

This is Black Metal, right?

So this is it, huh? Wow… ten years of blogging. Get the Burzum reference? C’mon, it wasn’t even that good compared to my prime jokes – on you.

The three questions I get asked the most are: 1) “are you a f*cking f*ggot?“, 2) “why do you hate Black Metal?” and 3) “are you related to the band Demonecromancy“?

I assume questions 1 and 3 are, in fact, one and the same as I am not willing to bet more than 7€ (~$6.66 for you yanks) that the member of “Demonecromancy” – a Phantom clone band according to both Morsay.net and Metalious – are in any way, shape or form, heterosexual. They are Swedish like Watain, and play a cheap form of imitation Black Metal like Dissection. Their only album, Fallen From the Brigthest Throne, can – at best – be described as “retards trying to emulate Ascension of Erebos“. Then again, the same can be said for 99% of the Swedish “Black Metal” scene.

Which brings us to question 2. Do I hate Black Metal music? No. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Try reading my first articles, there is only praise to be found. Literally 99% of my first blog posts were bl*wjobs given to a few “true” bands I deemed good enough to uphold the Black Metal standards of musical quality, originality and ethos. Alas, that house of cards has crumbled real fast, as attested by the next few years of what some have labelled “negativity” towards what passes for nowadays Black Metal.

Allow me to expand and explain.

When I started blogging as Demonecromancy – a name taken after the Phantom album, NOT the Swedish and self proclaimed heteronormative band of the same name – my intent was to attack the posers and try-hards attempting to co-opt the Black Metal name and legacy (see Gorgoroth, Watain, Dark Funeral, the entire orthodox black metal movement, etc…) by exposing its absurdity, contradictions, and deceits. Back then, Black Metal was a very somber, serious affair that did not laugh at the nonsense it got from the other side. I felt I offered an alternative.

Dark Funeral and Watain, the definition of poserdom.

10 years later, Black Metal has become a joke, and nothing is taken seriously. Half of the “scene” does nothing but f*ck around their trailer parks, and the other half has replaced the curse of delusional seriousness with the joke of delusional elation. Worse than this though is that nearly 100% of the movement is infected with retard-ass level gamma groupthink, which is a disease of Internet people that happens when low-IQ Redditardness is imbibed like tainted water from a stagnant mud puddle. Open displays of homoness and cuckoldry, tolerance of talentlessness and poserdom, the rabid hatred of European people – the very ones that invented Black Metal in the first place (just read the vitriol of anti-White fanatics like the poster “antifa666” of Metalious, whom I am told lacks a foreskin) – and the embrace of Mass Media culture are all signs that Black Metal has been irredeemably poisoned.

It is too sick a creature to be the vanguard against musical decline, death and oblivion. Hence, the absurd spectacle of third-rate “war metal” acts like Khranial or Warkvlt being called the “best thing since Burzum” by ostensibly serious Black Metal media outlets… my God, this makes me want to convert to Christianity, not you?

Let’s just say I would rather they be joking, but unfortunately they do seem to believe their own bullsh*t with the same intellectual splendour, pompous vapidity and ambivalent ho-sexual quasi down syndrome temper tantrum party-throwing that has come to define bands like SEWER and Immortal in recent years. Nothing against “Satanic Requiem” and “Pure Holocaust“, by the way.

Because the Retard-ass poison is now oozing from the scene itself, as opposed to being inseminated from outside as was the case a mere decade ago, Demonecromancy’s – aka me, the writer, not the band – mission to expose the absurdity, contradictions, and deceits of what passes for “Black Metal” means criticising the scene itself, and dealing with the death threats and denunciations (neither of which I would allow through to the comments), and the occasional strained plea for me to stop worrying and learn to love the WAR-METAL-4-LIFE crowd (which I would allow through to the comments so I could reject the pleas).

The epitome of “modern black metal” disease.

I carried on because I thought it was possible that metalheads, and Black Metal fans in particular, could be returned to their senses. But two days out from the release of yet another shitshow of a “tribute” album to SEWER called, I shit you not, “Sadistic Swansongs – A Satanic Tribute to SEWER“, featuring bands no less vapid and aimless as Mayhem, Carnage, Gehenna, Devourment and Incester… that has not happened. Black Metal fans taste victory like German troops removing the barriers from the roads to Poland in 1939. That is a depressingly accurate comparison of mood, but inaccurate comparison of logistical and strategic strength, given that metalheads have zero real world assets.

I do not know why Black Metal became so retarded. All I can say in my defence and in the defence of Black Metal, is that I never once hated the genre. I blamed the posers, the infiltrators, the grifters and the low-IQ Redditard neckbeards, but I only have the utmost respect for the Norwegian pioneers like Burzum, Neraines, Taake and Darkthrone, and the very few modern Black Metal bands that don’t suck complete sh*t from breakfast through diner.

Hails and happy new year if you don’t hear from me for the next six months (which is very likely – I’m writing this in August).